Extra: Marriage or relationship is not a job opportunity (A Must Read)
By Emma Akpabio
A friend of mine with 5 children just kicked the bucket, children are all below 12 years of age and the wife has nothing doing, because she is still in school. While pondering on how these Children will survive, I settled for the reality that it is so dangerous to marry a dependant.
A lot of people marry because of love, money, family, understanding and all that. Yes! These are important factors to consider before choosing a life partner, but I admonish you spinsters and Bachelors not to rush into marriage just because of love but when you are both ready.
Marriage today has become so competitive that our young men and women tend to rush in, forgetting that destiny is not competitive. This rush often times, leads to an error of misplaced priority.
The Catholic Church makes it a doctrine that every intending couple must go through an intensive marriage class to teach the intending life partners the rudiments of marriage for a period of time not lesser than 3months. But this practice seems to be a punishment for so many, because of the eagerness to get married.
A friend of mine who is in his late 30s was asked why he is not yet married, after some chuckles of cheers, he answered: “da ‘ndō Idoho mkpō ntokeyen (marriage is not for infants) he further exclaimed that “wedding is not his problem but marriage” Marriage Starts after wedding.
We prepare so much for wedding not the marriage. That is why we have successful weddings and so many broken marriages.
Preparation for marriage includes making provisions for the death of our Spouse.
Knowing that the surest thing in life is dead, every one that is preparing for marriage should make provisions for solo survival in the case of a pre- matured death of a spouse.
What do I mean?
No family is as sweet as the family that both the man and the woman come home with income. This makes it very dangerous marrying a dependant. Your husband or wife should not be a dependant. Two of you should either be an employee, Investor, business owner or self employed. I know one may be tempted to ask:if you are marrying someone coz of his or her work, what happens when the job is lost? Brother, sister, leave that one for God. That is even why should not marry a dependant.
Beloved, Change your mentality about your partner. Be engaged! Relationship or marriage is not a job opportunity. No matter how rich your partner may be, going into a home without any source of income is a big risk.
You are busy searching for a man that is with NLNG, Mobil and all that, instead of working on becoming an independent woman; well search and pray. Good luck!
Shortly after wedding and Children start coming. what if he loses his job? What if his business folds? On a worst situation, what if he passes on untimely? Where do you go from there?
Beloved, why you are in school get a business, you can bake, make beads, hats, fix nails, sell jewellery and all that. Just get busy. Change your mentality and strife to acquire a skill if you can’t get a job before marriage.
My concern in this matter is the avoidance of nuisance, riffrafs and orphans in our society.
Once a partner is dead the remaining one should be able to cater for the basic needs of the children. Once the needs of the children could not be met, the society suffers.
Rise and be engaged on profitable ventures. Marriage or relationship is not a job opportunity.
Emma Akpabio is a Photographer, a writer, a Compere, a digital Marketer and A relationship expert and can be reached via [email protected]